cellulite solution?

I think my daughter has a hot bod. She’s five. I’m possibly deranged. But. Speaking of butts. Her butt is a taut round peach. Smooth too.

Okay I am definitely deranged.

And jealous. But not in the way where I want to poison her or short-sheet her bed. I just want a butt like hers, in the grown-up size. I may never have it but I finally learned there’s something I can do to toward that end. End. Ha. Get it?

I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts. This one on Underground Wellness featured Dr. Cate Shanahan, the author of Deep Nutrition.

I couldn’t wait to listen to it because Dr. Cate was going to talk about cellulite. I have cellulite. I hate it and want to get rid of it. Over the years I’ve massaged it, exercised it, watered it and starved it. Nothing worked. Eating Primally makes me wonder about cave women. Did they have cellulite? It seems unlikely. It seems unlikely that they chewed their cuticles too, or complained incessantly about bugs, the heat, the lack of air conditioning and microwave ovens. In other words, cellulite just seems like a modernish affliction to me. But like I said, I’m deranged so who knows.

Dr. Cate talked about a study where they took a bunch of overweight women, some with cellulite, some without. The ones without lumps had a layer of collagen outside their fat which gave it a smooth form and structure. So the solution? Eat collagen. How? Bone broth.

Do I have a ten pound bag of chicken feet in my freezer? You’re damn straight I do. Will I be your guinea pig? You bet your lumpy ass I will. I’m going to have some collagen-rich broth daily. If my butt turns out as smooth as my daughter’s, I will take a picture of it and post it. I will be so proud. If my butt remains a lumpy mess, I will keep it private and you will thank me.

Of course I am my own worst critic but that’s just the derangement talking.

Love and soaking bones,

3 thoughts on “cellulite solution?

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