So it happens that this update is a positive one. And I am still the hapless mental case you’ve come to know and tolerate.

Kidding. I adore myself.

But let me explain. For Chrismukkah, Swamp Chicken bought us a couple tickets to see HAIR. I used to love that racy, off-color soundtrack. My mom came to babysit. In my best moods, my mom’s mom-ness challenges me not to be a raving bitch. In this case I was a wreck. Off the heels from Barkapalooza 2011-12 I was convinced Nyla had turned from Jekyll to Hyde. So when my mom arrived, I was the one barking. Orders. And stressing. So badly that I called her a couple times to say sorry. From the theatre. While the lights dimmed.

And guess what? Nyla was fine! She barked a couple times when Moms arrived and that was it. Nobody lost an ankle. Or an eye.

The next day she was fine again!

Over the weekend our friend Danielle visited. She is a dog-loving, fun-loving woman. Nyla was cautious at first but soon warmed up to D and the two shared some love, which was a sweet relief to behold. We all rollicked and walked and sat around. The weather was gorge. I felt a little embarrassed that I’d been so out of control with my fears. But Danielle assured me it was okay. And I believed her. Mostly. She’s known me a long time. She took that picture by the way. It’s a keeper.

We talked about how in life, the toughest problems often are solved with the easiest answers. You know how sometimes you think you have to make a huge change in your life in order to be happy? Maybe you think you need to leave your spouse, or change your career, move to Istanbul, direct a feature film or return your shelter dog. Just thinking about all the work ahead feels so heavy, so burdensome that you just wind up napping. But when you wake up you brush your teeth, eat a little something, maybe talk to a friend, check your email… And slowly your impossible situation feels an eensy bit possible.

I told Danielle how one morning when Nyla barked at the neighbor man taking out his garbage, I got all anxious. This was a couple mornings after we’d returned home from the Poconos. I was sure I’d need to do something impossible in order to get her to stop, something that would entail time, money, and getting Bryan and the kids on board so that the entire family would become one pulsating, synchronized dog-training machine. AS IF! After a few moments of stressing to the hilt, out of exasperation, I just yelled, SHUSH. And you know what that dang dog did? She shushed! She rolled over on her back and gave me belly. It was a literal turning point. And I realized how SIMPLE life can be. And like Byron Katie says (remember when I used to blog about her?), reality is always kinder than the monsters we create in our heads.

I have always been good at creating monsters.

Later on one of the neighborhood dads came to retrieve his kids. Nyla didn’t make a peep. I clapped my hands and did a little dance. Danielle helped me realize that I probably jumped the gun taking the dog to the Poconos to meet and hang with so many members of my extended family. In this case there was no alternative. Still, had I known what we were in for I would have at least instructed everyone to ignore her, to give her space, to let her approach them.

But you live, you learn. You blog, and you receive comments like the ones I received from you, letting me know this situation would improve, and sharing your experiences with me. You were right. And I thank you! Fuck the vet! I read every one of your comments twice, and read them aloud to Bryan who also really appreciated them. There is nothing sweeter than knowing you are not alone in a lonely, difficult situation. Inspired by you, I have an appointment with a local trainer. Because even though things have settled down, I’d love a pro to evaluate us and give us some moves to put into action.

So here’s to you, to making progress, and to the monsters. May I be smart enough in this lifetime to commit them to paper and make money off of them instead of believing they are real. And may I remember, when life feels insurmountable, to just SHUSH THE DOG.

Love,