Here’s an email I just wrote and sent to Swamp Chicken, in the hopes of garnering some of his wise counsel:

Hey, so I’m having this urge—almost physical, with my heart pounding—weird? Pitiful? To rejoin facebook, what with my renewed mission to get myself out there as an artist and writer and blogger. More people’d know I’d blogged, etc., and I could post that pic of Peaches’s new shoes, and get back into the fray, the flow, the party. Problem is, I’m afraid I’m really just stirring up trouble for myself. as if I am on the verge of tackling a new project—the 80s collection—and the WIN side of me wants to do this but the LOSE side of me says not so fast Buster, and is gearing up to distract and otherwise sabotage my Win self, who is trying so fucking hard, or at least it feels that way inside my brain. It’s bad enough to check how many tweets and likes my posts get on the blog, but on top of that to check in with facebook to see how many people like my updates, or write on my wall, and if it’s zero, how that has been known to crush me. Plus my penchant for flying off the handle or being inappropriately uncensored, in public, in a place that I have no control over, which are all the reasons I deactivated in the first place…okay maybe I just talked myself out of rejoining. Thanks Hunny!

xx

P.S. My daughter’s first pair of heels. Am I screwed? Or am I simply encouraging her artistic self-expression? The girl loves dress-up. Maybe it doesn’t help that I just listened to the Jillian Lauren WTF podcast. I cannot wait to read her books.

P.P.S. Bryan’s response: “Glad I could help.”

P.P.P.S. Asking for donations in a blog post is ineffective. In case you were considering it. As Spike would say, Epic Failure. Feel free to prove me wrong here. (I had to link it. Just in case.)